Love or Fear?_ Writing Assignment #7

This is  Article Number 91 on Walking by Inner Vision. Thank you, dear readers for your encouragement and for walking with me on our Divine Journey with God this year!

 

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Photo:

Bob and Lynda Lambert

April  2012:  We paused for a photo this very hot April afternoon in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Love…or Fear: a Choice

~A Lenten Meditation by Lynda McKinney Lambert~

Walking by Inner Vision Journal Assignment #7

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Last April my husband learned he had  Acute Myeloid Leukemia, aka AML.  Prior to this date, we never heard of AML but quickly learned about this disease when Bob received a phone call to give him the biopsy results from a bone marrow test.  The hematologist repeated several times…

Bob_April27_withMe

 

“This is a very aggressive blood cancer. We  must treat it aggressively. You have to get to the hospital in Pittsburgh immediately. They have a room ready for you right now and do not stop at the admissions office. Go directly to the 7th floor – T-7 – and they will have your room ready when you arrive.”

We stood there listening to the doctor; we were numb. The doctor went on to tell Bob,

“You will stay at West Penn Hospital for a month.  Intensive chemo therapy will begin today!. There is no time to waste. Get there as fast as you can!”

 

Bob hung up the phone; we grasped each other in an embrace and cried together. How could this be happening?

We called our daughter at work, and between the sobs and tears, we conveyed that we needed her to come and get us and take us to the hospital.  The three of us arrived at T-7 that evening. Our new journey into the unknown world of AML was now underway. Bob’s life had taken a shift that was unimaginable, and I was fill with fear as my daughter and I said “good bye” to Bob, and we  departed the hospital that night to return back home.

Bob_April27_withMachineOnce back home, I felt like I could barely breathe with the realization that I was alone in the house and would be for an entire month. The greatest fear that gripped me was the fear of what might happen when people began to hear this news.

 

Would I be a target for a robbery or some terrifying event because people would know I have profound low vision? Would I be a victim? These questions pounded my brain, and the more I considered the possibilities of what could happen to me, the more anxious I became.

“But wait just a second,”  my spirit whispered.  Is fear how you plan to live your life? Will it be fear that propels you to make decisions?  Will you choose, today, to walk in fear?

In moments, my thoughts settled down as I began remembering promises in the Bible that spoke about fear and every one of them gave me encouragement, assurance, and a deep sense of peace. Yes! My husband was facing all the terrors associated with a dreaded disease;  I was blind and unable to drive a car any longer. How would I get him to appointments in the future? How would I be able to visit him in the hospital which was an hour’s drive from our home? How would I manage to take care of the dogs and cats at home? How would I get groceries, and other necessary things we needed?

Every time a frightening possibility tried to give me fear, I immediately turned that thought off, and instead, spoke a true thought from my Christian worldview.  No matter what life was bringing to us,  Bob and I would be provided for and we would be safe. We have found that God, Himself, takes care of all our needs. Our brothers and sisters in Christ have brought us loaves of freshly baked bread and jellies; shoveled out or driveway after a snow storm; brought our mail to our doorstep every day since Bob’s illness began; sent us cards and special messages of love and encouragement; provided us with transportation to scores of trips to doctors and to the hospital; bought us food; given us monetary gifts to help with gas and parking garage expenses; sent us books; walked and fed our dogs; visited us; brought us medications from the pharmacy; and so much more.

We need to act on our faith in a crisis. I decided to do two things as an act of faith so that I would not walk in fear.

First, I found an AML Facebook Page that is a closed group for patients and their families. It’s private so that we can honestly speak of the challenges of AML and ask others how they are doing things – this all helps so much. I am not alone in dealing with Bob’s disease and his difficult days. I can go to the FB group and ask questions and get answers. This has been so helpful and I became  a much better care giver to Bob because of this group. I have gained insight and good information there which has been helpful and healing for us both.

If you need more information on AML for yourself or a family member, you can request permission into this group. ~ find this group at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/71803149485/

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Second, instead of keeping Bob’s condition a secret and allowing misinformation to circulate around our little town, I decided to put out the word in a very public forum.  I created a community page called, Bob Lambert Diary, in which I post photos of Bob and others who are with him on this journey. We provide a photo-diary type of page where anyone can visit Bob, see photos of him periodically, and we give out information on AML and blood cancer to help other people be informed. We desire to give a correct image of Bob’s journey, and keep it forefront on the page to keep incorrect and misleading gossip or information from taking root. Most of all, we want to provide positive and truthful facts on Bob and on AML.   Instead of walking in fear, and keeping Bob’s journey a secret, we publicly put it out for anyone to read. You can visit Bob’s page by clicking on:

https://www.facebook.com/boblambertdiary

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 Blog_Bob_CompressedNearly a year later, we can say for certain there has been no crisis, no pain, no uncertainties, and no imaginations that have not been met by Jesus. He comes to meet us at exactly the center of every need – Jesus, “God with us,” is ever-present. He comes through with us, from one situation to the next, with his grace to move on in spite of the fears the enemy throws at us.  Our risen Lord, has been faithful and we walk in peace.

 

I’d like to share a few Bible verses with you today. I want to let you know, for sure, we are always surrounded by promises of peace.

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John 14:27 – English Standard Version (ESV)

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

You will find many other quotes that will help you overcome fear and be victorious through God’s word. Here is a link that will provide you with understanding of who you are in Christ, and how you are protected every day.  You will  face challenges because that is part of being a human being. We are fragile. . God will meet you where you are, and in whatever fearful situation you are facing now or in the future.  Go ahead, step forward, and take hold of the PEACE He will give you.

For additional WORDS from God, Click on:

http://www.openbible.info/topics/fear_and_anxiety

 

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Walking by Inner Vision Journal – Writing Assignment #7

 Today, I want you to think about the times you were overcome by fears.  Describe the circumstances, how you felt, and what the feelings of fear did  to you physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The opposite of LOVE, is FEAR. It is not hate or envy or anger. It is FEAR.  Fear obliterates love if we are not aware of what it does to us.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that have helped you pass from fear to love?

Can you describe how you chose to love instead of fear?

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Note: You may contact me personally by email at any time.  My blogs are my gift to the world, and I am here to help YOU –

Lynda McKinney Lambert.  Copyright, 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

 

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3 thoughts on “Love or Fear?_ Writing Assignment #7”

  1. Lilly, I am so glad my comments and experience with AML have touched you and related to your own experiences with your father.
    Thank you so very much for the link to the music and I will go listen to it this morning. My husband loves country music, and one day he called me into the bedroom and asked me to sing a song to him that he was trying to remember. It was a Weylon Jennings and Jessi Colter song, “Storms Never Last, do they Baby!” Most of the time when I wake up in the morning, there is a song playing in my spirit – music is so uplifting and a blessing from God when we need it most. Again, thank you so much for your comments. Lynda

  2. My father also was diagnosed Dec 06 . Your story was very similiar to ours. We had no idea what Aml was ?’no clue. For some strange reason i felt a connection with you and Bob since I read his story. The whole journey dealing with my fathers

    Illness. I kept hearing the song “God with us” by Mercy me. That song helped me through my fear and sadness. If u have time listen to it on You Tube it reminds that he never leaves us and is holding us through the most difficult journey

    illness.

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